Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
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