what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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