i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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