If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
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