Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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