my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Princesses don't give blow jobs
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
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