She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
This baby is an asshole
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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