I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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