You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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