My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
did i just pee glitter
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