Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
