4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
