Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
