i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
