Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I don't think brook has ever known best
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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