I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize