have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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