No stitches, just platelets and will power
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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