Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
