who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
