Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
