hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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