she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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