end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
