Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
