who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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