I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
