Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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