I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
