That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
