i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
