it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
