Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
