YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Be still, my beating vagina.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
