I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Randomize
