it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
