Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize