I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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