He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
