who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
