the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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