Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
