If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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