yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
