how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
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