sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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