you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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