Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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