NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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