I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
