That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
