Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize