that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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