We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
