then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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